Resolutions in three words

It's the second day of the new year. Are you already slipping on your resolutions? I schlepped to Trader Joes in the rain earlier this week to stock up on fruits and vegetables (trying to recover from my graduate school diet, which was....less than stellar). Here's a little trick I read about last night that could help keep us all in line!

Chris Brogan chooses three words to focus on his New Year's resolutions.

The idea is that you choose three words that will remind you of the steps you want to take to achieve your goals. So for example, if your resolution is to lose weight and you want to do this by eating more plant-based foods, you might choose the word "green."

"The words you choose will go past being a simple goal and will become part of the way you identify yourself," he writes, "and thus, a guiding light for your efforts."

I tried this with my (very long) list of 2014 resolutions and came up with: vegetables, one and weekly. Any guesses what my goals for the new year are?

Remembering past falls

I took a nice, long, overdue walk through Central Park Sunday morning. The yellow leaves were falling from the trees and being swept away by the wind. It was cloudy and drizzling just a tad-enough to make you want to cuddle under the covers and eat some sort of carbohydrate made with pumpkin. I love this time of year.

Fall has become a rather sentimental period for me. The colors, the changes, that crispness in the air...I find myself continually taken back to this time two years ago. It reminds me of packing up my apartment and selling my reupholstered green wingback chair that I had once imagined my future children sitting in. It reminds me of hugging my ex-husband goodbye after signing the last of the divorce papers.  He wanted to remain friends, but I knew deep down it was the last time I would ever see him. It reminds me of sitting down to dinner with my parents and sister, who graciously let me move back into my childhood home for a year. It reminds me of spending Thanksgiving in Cancun with my mom, aunt and uncle. My aunt had insisted that I join her on her annual Mexico vacation after she found out about the divorce. We laughed so much during that trip. I still remember my mom and I giggling in the airport security line at the TSA agent who was more like a drill sergeant. It reminds me of flipping through vocab. flash cards in my cubicle at work as I studied for the GRE and imagined a future in New York. It reminds me of going to my friend's wedding in Utah. I hadn't told any of my friends about the divorce at that point as I didn't want to put a damper on the day. I remember driving my rental car to the wedding location and giving myself a pep talk. "If you can hold it together for the wedding," I told myself, "then you can cry as much as you need to tonight when you're back in the hotel room." It reminds me of the overwhelming amount of love and support that I was shown by so many people during that fall season. I tear up just thinking about it.

Oddly, I miss that fall so much. There is an amazing sense of clarity that comes in challenging times. I knew exactly what mattered and didn't care much to spend my energy on anything that didn't. I have tried so hard to hold on to that clarity, but I find it often gets muddled. To be honest, that really terrifies me. Here's to continually being grateful for our hard times, for grasping on to a clear perspective, recognizing what really matters and not spending energy on anything that doesn't.

Physique 57 Addict

Y'all know I love my Physique 57. I recently wrote up a little something for BuzzFeed: 14 Signs You're Addicted to Physique 57.

(Image from Well+Good)

TV Fast

I haven't been that much of a TV watcher in the past, but recently, I've noticed that thanks to Hulu and Netflix, I spend a lot more time breezing through not only episodes, but SEASONS of television shows. Thanks to the click of a mouse, I have endless TV shows at my disposal and I'm afraid I haven't been very disciplined with how I spend my time.

Which is why....

I am on a no TV fast for the week. Between graduate school and this stack of books that I've been inching through, I truly shouldn't be watching any TV, so I'm pulling the plug.

Can I do it??

Stress Tip

A picture from one of my favorite running paths in Central Park. 

Life is feeling a little bit crazy over here today. My final semester of graduate school is rapidly approaching and I'm trying to get a leg up on my thesis beforehand while also juggling freelance work, prepping for an upcoming project, stretching my tight graduate school budget and gosh, is that it? I feel like there are at least 10 other things going on right now.

I am not an expert at handling stress, but I will say that exercise is essential at times like these. Isn't that kind of terrible? When we have a dozen other things pulling at us, that it's most crucial then to take a time out and go exercise? But even if it's only a walk through the park or a Physique 57 DVD (I am obsessed), I'm so much more efficient if I take the time to exercise and then hop into the madness.

What's most important for you when it comes to dealing with stress?

10 Running Songs For A 9-Minute Mile

My older brother spent two weeks with me in June and loved walking the New York City streets. He would walk miles taking in the city, and he began teaching me about matching walking pace with the beats per minute (BPM) of whatever song I was listening to.  Basically, we tend to walk or run faster when we're listening to music with more beats per minute. I decided to apply this concept to my running playlists, and I learned that I needed to listen to songs that had about 160 BPM when I was running to make a 9-minute mile. And voila, a new running playlist was made!

So here you are, ten songs that will help you run a 9-minute mile pace. Please appreciate the Vitamin C throwback and the back-to-back setup of Taylor Swift and Outkast.

"I Saw Her Standing There" -The Beatles (160 BPM)

"Suds in the Bucket" -Sara Evans (161 BPM)

"Sugar, We're Goin' Down" -Fall Out Boy (162 BPM)

"The Middle" -Jimmy Eat World (162 BPM)

"American Saturday Night" -Brad Paisley (158 BPM)

"Graduation (Friends Forever)" -Vitamin C (160 BPM) (BLAST FROM THE PAST!)

"Jump Then Fall" -Taylor Swift (160 BPM)

"Hey Ya!" -Outkast (160 BPM)

"Footloose" -Kenny Loggins (160 BPM)

"Gangsta's Paradise"- Coolio featuring L.V. (160 BPM)

Q&A With Rubi Jones From The Period Store

For our  Women + Business series, our first interview is with Rubi Jones, co-founder of The Period Store.

While most squirm when it comes to talking menstruation, Rubi Jones, Ashley Seil Smith and Nate Smith jump right in.

So much so that earlier this year, the three launched The Period Store, a subscription box service that delivers a period survival kit with your favorite menstruation products, herbal remedies, art work and even chocolate, right when you need it each month.

Yes, they actually make it exciting to get your period!

Rubi Jones shared how the trio came up with the concept and how they tackle the highs and lows of running a business.

Daily Affirmations

Do you practice affirmations? In other words, do you say positive statements or declarations about yourself daily?

I remember when I was first introduced to the concept during some random successful living seminar. I wrote some down and said them to myself for a few days, but the whole thing felt silly. I tucked them into a book that I never reopened.

A few years later, I went through my divorce and was seeing a counselor to tackle that beast. During our conversations, we learned that I really struggled with negative self-talk. I would often say horrible things to myself, usually without even realizing it, that included "You're so stupid," "What makes you think you can ____?," "No one likes you," etc. Terrible, right? My counselor asked me if I would be friends with someone who said those kinds of things to me. Definitely not.  Yet, I was saying them to myself all the time. And you can't really get away from yourself, you know? I was stuck.

My counselor helped me outline some daily affirmations to say whenever I felt those negative thoughts creep in. I can't tell you how much of my life changed by this practice. Not only was I able to battle negative thoughts, but I actually started to really understand and believe the positive things I was saying, leading to a huge boost in self-security.  I often repeat them over and over and over and over if I'm having a hard moment so that negative thoughts don't even get a chance.

Below are the affirmations my counselor and I created that I still use to this day. Feel free to borrow them, if you'd like!

I am a unique and worthwhile human being.

I have a right to make mistakes and take responsibility for them.

I have the right to feel all of my feelings, and I have the responsibility to communicate them in healthy ways.

I deserve to be treated with respect and consideration. 

I have the right to be myself without feeling I'm not good enough.

I will give myself acceptance and validity instead of looking to others to do that. 

I have the right to move forward with my life, despite what others are doing or not doing.

My first responsibility is to my own growth and well-being. The better I feel about myself, the better I'll be toward others.

My actions may be good or bad but this does not make me good or bad. 

Every experience I have in life, whether pleasant or unpleasant, contributes to my learning and growth.

Even two years after creating them, these sentences still help me battle any seemingly negative situation or mindset in which I find myself. I'd love to hear what affirmations you have or your experience with the practice!

(Photo: WeHeartIt.com)

Another Lavender Oil Tip: Burn Relief

My hand four hours after the Great Straightener Incident of 2013. You can hardly tell!

I found a new use for lavender oil. Not only is it great to ease stress, but it's a miracle worker for burn relief, too!

While getting ready for work yesterday, I literally wrapped my hand around my hair straightener. Not my finest moment. I sprinted to the bathroom and ran my hand under cold water, but soon enough, the skin started to puff up and the pain was unreal. You know those burns where you literally feel the pain sharpen with each heart beat? It was like that, and I had no idea how I was going to get through the day typing at my desk and handling products with my left hand in such bad shape.

My mom had mentioned a few weeks ago that lavender oil helped heal a burn because of the oil's painkilling and antiseptic properties, so I dashed to the bedroom, grabbed my bottle of oil and started to literally dump the oil on my palm as I made my way to work. By the time I got to the bus, the pain had subsided. Within the next hour, the puffiness reduced and by lunch time, it hardly looked or felt like I had such a clumsy experience with the hair straightener only hours prior.

So folks, lavender oil. It's a miracle worker, I'm telling ya'.

P.S.- Today is the last day of the Kickstarter campaign for Sonnet James! Get all the details here!

Bryant Park Yoga

Hey New Yorkers! Get your workout in today with Bryant Park as your gym! Athleta is hosting an hour-long yoga class tonight in Bryant Park from 6-7 p.m. See you there!

Stress Tip: Lavender Oil

The first half of 2013 was a bit crazy for me. It was my first New York City winter (that wind!) and I was juggling my full-time graduate school schedule with an internship, something few in my program do during the second semester. My stress was through the roof.

By the time spring break came around at the end of March, I needed a little break from the city and my chaotic schedule, so I headed to Colorado for a week. There, my mom handed me a small bottle of lavender oil and an oil diffuser as a means of battling my stress.

It turns out that lavender has been proven to help reduce stress levels. Results from a study in Florida revealed that lavender oil lowered pulse rates and decreased anxiety in nursing students who were taking difficult exams. It's also been shown to ease depression, reduce insomnia and more.

Since my mother gifted me my own small bottle of lavender oil, I find myself placing a few drops of the oil in the diffuser while I'm getting ready in the morning. If it's a particularly busy day, I'll rub some oil on my hands, then run my hands through my hair and across my face.





Have you ever tried lavender oil to ease stress? I'd love to hear what you do to ease stress in your life!

The Best Green Juice Recipe

That title has some bold words. But I mean it.

In my apartment, we are always begging our roommate, Trisha, to blend up her special green juice recipe. Well late Sunday night, she finally spilled the goods on what she puts inside.

I give you the best green juice recipe...ever. The ingredients deliver a burst of antioxidants, calcium, vitamin K (good for the brain and bones), flavonoids, hydration and more. Blend and enjoy!

Original photo source: WeHeartIt.com

Embracing Imperfections

I have been giving quiet a bit of thought to my personal resolutions for 2013 and have struggled to pinpoint very many. As I tucked myself into bed on December 31st, I suddenly had one phrase come across my mind.

Embrace imperfections. 

It's so easy to fall into the trap of  not being ____ enough. Smart, stylish, financially fit, secure, the list goes on. And don't let the idea that achieving whatever "it" is will solve your problems. There is always something, right?

For 2013, I want to re-grasp the ability to accept and even embrace my imperfections. Gwyneth Paltrow (or perhaps someone on her team rather) put together a thorough read on what experts have had to say on the topic. You can read it here. My friend and one-time therapist made me repeat the following affirmation often to myself: "I have the right to be myself without feeling I'm not good enough." I'm sticking to that for the next year and hopefully will garner the strength for more to come.

Have you had to learn this lesson a time or two? What attributes are you hoping to work on this year?

A Love Note to 2012

Photo from here.

The year 2012 brought me my dreams. Manhattan-living, marathon-running, falling-in-love kind of dreams. It has been the best year of my life. Signed, sealed and now delivered.

Hey 2013, you have some big shoes to fill. But with internship opportunities unfolding, a pending graduation date, new friends and a year to dive into this city of mine, I think it's going to go toe-to-toe with 2012. Can't wait to see what unfolds.

Being Happy Regardless

A peaceful early morning on the UWS.

It's 6:30 a.m. and this is the first "free" time I have had in days! Hunting down sources, classes, Final Cut Pro training, church, date, homework....Folks, I am exhausted. Yet every time I open my mouth to complain, I can't. I just can't. I am so thankful to be in graduate school. I am so thrilled to be living in Manhattan. I'm living my dream. There is nothing to complain about there.

I have been giving thought the past few days to this talk from a recent church event. Being happy despite external circumstances. My grandpa used to say "Life is 10% what happens to you and 90% how you react to it." Last year was probably the first time in my life where I could have easily resigned myself to a state of depression and no one would have judged. Now I had my hard days, they are documented here. But I also realized early on that I could not change my ex-husband's mind to leave. The only control I had over the situation was control over myself, my reactions, my life, from the moment that apartment door shut.

So I surrounded myself with positive people, bought myself lipstick, and truly found joy in the journey. My mother used to have a little countdown for me and my move to New York because she thought that was when my life would start again. But you guys? It never stopped! Days were not waisted in despair and that year turned out to be one of the best in my life.

Are you being faced with crummy circumstances? How have you found happiness in less than ideal times?

Ramblings About Identity

It has been a tougher week this week! But I'm surviving and am only days away from an amazing weekend of edification and inspiration from speakers in my church in an event named General Conference. You can watch too, here! Let me tell you, I so need this weekend.

I have become increasingly terrified of losing myself. Or perhaps I've already lost myself? Or am in process? I don't think any of the above is in fact true, but it's been on my mind this week.

I feel like through our toughest moments, we come to understand who we really are. What we are really capable of. It provides this amazing driving force that takes down fears and embraces new opportunities. I loved that. It made the hard times of last year completely worth it and in fact, I think last year's experience was essential to my growth. I'm grateful for that experience of divorce. Truly 100% grateful.

But I'm on to a new chapter now. I'm in a new city, doing new things, dating new people, making new friends. And I have become so terrified but losing that grip on who I really am. I feel like unless I treat myself so carefully and don't let anyone in, I can protect that identity. I think the former part of that sentence is okay. It's the latter part that is hard. Not letting anyone in? Is that what I really want? Is that the only way to keep a firm understanding and hold on the power of identity?

There's a taste of my Thursday morning....Off to yoga...

Joy

This evening, after a long day of class and a stop at my local hardware store, I laced up my Nike’s and headed to Central Park.

It has been roughly a month since I last ran. Between the move and school and walking all over this island, my exercise has gone on the back burner. But CP? Oh, can I call you CP? Is that cool? Okay. CP, promise to give me sights like tonight’s and I’ll come running to you every day.

The sun was just beginning to set as I made my way around the reservoir. The light reflected across the water and the buildings surrounding the park were all aglow. It was breathtaking.

When I finished the run, I couldn’t help but tear up. Not overwhelmingly so. Just enough to feel it in my eyes. And the tears, they weren’t 100% for the view, although if they were, I’d understand. It was overwhelming to feel the joy I felt in my heart. I know that sounds corny, but that’s where the joy us. Radiating in my chest.

Life here, particularly school and diving into a new social scene (oh my gosh, let’s talk about beginning the single life again…another time), life here can be challenging. My heart races when I get a new school assignment to go interview strangers about topic x and have a 500 word article in two hours later. Or going to a party where I know no one and trying to introduce myself only to feel completely invisible. Those things can be hard! Downright hard.

But you guys.

I feel so much joy. Joy I couldn’t have felt had I not gone through last year. Joy I couldn’t have felt if I didn’t, for a brief while, think New York was only intended to ever be a dream for me.  I’d live those painful moments all over again if I knew that it would lead me to this completely fulfilling, content, ambitious joy.

To anyone going through a challenge, it gets better. Seek spiritual guidance, try and make the best decisions you can, and move your way through it. I promise that those hard times will lead to something good that you’ll cherish even more as a result.

What Would You Tell Your 14-Year-Old Self?

Have you seen The Conversation yet?

It's a series on Lifetime (which should sell you already) with Amanda de Cadenet. She discusses topics that pertain to women with "anyone who has a story to tell". Gwyneth Paltrow discussed losing parents and post-partum depression, Olivia Wilde spoke words about her divorce that pierced my heart, Kelly Preston disclosed the feelings of losing a son...It's a really beautifully done series that is inspiring as a woman and as a journalist. I jot down so many notes from these shows, many of which I want to discuss here. But for today, I want to talk about this.

At the conclusion of each episode, Amanda asks a series of questions, one of which is "What would you tell your 14-year-old self?".

So I ask you: What would you tell your 14-year-old self?

Some of my thoughts...

You are capable of SO much more thank you think you are.

Go for the cute guy.

 

Half Marathon Recap

I landed at the Provo Airport on Friday evening a little wide-eyed, nervous, but feeling as ready as I was going to be. Looking back, it was a bit symbolic being in Provo, a town that held memories of a past life and here I was to conquer my impossible. I walked off the plane and within 30 seconds, I was handed a Diet Coke from Margo, my friend who drove from Las Vegas to run with me, and we were off to the packet pick-up. I chatted with her about my nerves for the next morning but felt in safe hands since this was her third half marathon. Before we knew it, it was 11 pm which was incredibly unfortunate since we had to wake up at 3 am for the race.

Yes folks, 3 am.

To run.

That next early, early, early morning, we showed up to our buses. It's a bit like your worst nightmare, really. We loaded on the bus and were shuffled off to the middle of a canyon, where we were dropped off. Margo and I looked at each other and it hit us. The only way home is to run to our car.

"Well", Margo said. "If we're going to do this....And it looks like we are....We need to just keep running".

Approaching the starting line was surreal. While 13.1 miles seems incredibly daunting, the second you take that first step, the distance lessens. I'll never forget seeing the crowd of people all winding our way through the canyon, the tunnels, and into Utah Valley. Margo and I lost each other, as we thought we would, so it was me, the pavement and strangers.

I wanted to turn to those running around me and ask why they were running. What happened to you that made you decide to do this? I couldn't help but feel we were all doing this for the same reason. We were all discovering the secret in life...That we can do the impossible things. It truly felt like we were uncovering this hidden, powerful truth.

I remember the first 8 miles flying by relatively quickly. It wasn't easy, I know that. I can vividly remember thinking "Okay, I'm glad I'm doing this but I never need to do this again". Mile 9 came and I felt my body become so physically exhausted. I felt every step of the last 4 miles. Every. Single. Step. But again, I was inspired by those around me and continually wondered what deeper challenges were being overcome that day. Divorce? Death? Insecurities? There was more there then our shoes and the road. That I could feel.

During the last 3 miles, my iPhone began beeping. I was running with it as it had my playlist on it. I discovered text messages from loved ones, each cheering me on and rooting for me. For a split second, I thought "No, I need to do this alone". I immediately felt prompted that no, I was not meant to do this alone. I don't have to do difficult things alone and it's okay to embrace the love of others! With support or without support, I was still going to cross that finish line. But why not have the cheerleaders and loved ones by my side to prop me up when I'm (literally) aching all over? It was a really poignant thought, something I'm still pondering.

I think I actually had a continual prayer going the entire race. I felt incredibly close to God during those hours. I think, in some ways, closer than I had in a while. It's beautiful how near He is in our physically and/or emotionally challenging times.

Two hours and twenty minutes later, I entered the final chute. I had done it. The finish line was rapidly approaching and my impossible journey was now achieved. I crossed the finish line, downed 10 cups of water, sent a text to loved ones that I had made it, and then the tears came. They didn't last long but oh, how proud I was.

I don't think I have ever, EVER been that proud of myself. And I continue to be. I can make myself happy. You guys, truly if I can run a half-marathon, I can do ANYTHING. It was a beautiful, empowering, spiritual moment that has brought me so much joy. I feel like that race shook up and placed all of my priorities back in their proper place and now I'm moving forward with empowerment that I don't know I could have achieved any other way.

Oh, and that thought about never having to run a half marathon again? I purchased new running shoes last night and am anxiously searching for another race :) .

Why A Girl Who Hated Running Signed Up For a Half Marathon

I think June 9th may have been one of the best days of my life. Which sounds crazy because it was the day I ran a half marathon.

Side note: I would NEVER have thought one of the best days of my life would include running.

Back story behind the madness: Last year was a doozy. I've mentioned it briefly here but my divorce was the hardest thing I have ever gone through in my life. In the midst of the separation and divorce, I decided to take the GRE and apply to graduate school. Now try going through the deepest heartbreak of your life, the identity change, depression, and endless paperwork that comes with that heartbreak all while studying for a seemingly impossible test. People ask me how I did it and truthfully, I went numb there for a while. I think one way to cope with our trials is to hunker down and do what you have to do.

Well my approach to the GRE was basically "I am going to bomb this and I won't get it anywhere but let's just get it done so I can move on from the graduate school bug". Over the weeks of studying, I somehow convinced myself that I wasn't going to bomb this and graduate school was actually a possibility. As it turns out, I didn't bomb it at all. And I'm going to graduate school. Well, that got me thinking....What other impossible things can I do?

In fact, what is the most impossible thing in my world? The answer was easy.

Running.

The numbness may have added a bit to this decision because at that point, I just wanted to feel again. Even if it was heart-racing, gasping pain, I was ready to feel it. So the idea of a half marathon was planted in my head.

I started jogging a bit here and there. I basically repeated Week 1 of Hal Higdon's program for 2 months...Come February, I knew that if I was going to actually do this, it was time to register for a race to have some accountability and get cracking. I called up a girlfriend of mine and we decided the Utah Valley Half Marathon was where it was at and with $70 and a Frontier flight, I was Provo bound. Now it was time to work.

I followed Higdon program religiously. I'd wake up at 4:30 am to eat something, then sleep until 5:30 am and be pounding the pavement by 6. Even then I'd be late to work sometimes. Hindsight, I think my training here followed the same path as the GRE.

I'm going to bomb this but why not give it a go?

Then after a while it became..

Hmm...I'm actually able to run 7 miles...Maybe I could run the whole 13.1...

The week before the race I realized I could not only do this but I may do pretty well.

Folks, June 9th was a day to remember in my book. Race recap tomorrow...