Shoe Shopping

I have been planning on buying this gorgeous pair of heels on December 30th. But they are apparently sold out everywhere. Not a pair to be found.

So on to Plan B. Would you recommend the Bow Pumps or Curl Stacked Heels? Or did you want to buy me some Louboutins?

How An Anthro Sale Strengthened My Faith

I'm a girl who doesn't pay full price for anything. And I can honestly say I don't shop very often (although this is the second Anthro-related posted in the last few weeks). But yesterday, I made a rather substantial shopping trip to Anthropologie.

While I feel some guilt over it, I also think it was God's way of taking care of me.

Don't roll your eyes, I'm serious!

You see, right after I became just me, I was standing in an Anthropologie dressing room surrounded by beautiful, expensive clothes. And I suddenly thought, "I'm going to buy all of this." I knew that meant spending more than $800 but I didn't care one bit in that moment. That was what I wanted. While in every other aspect of my life it didn't seem to matter one bit about what I wanted, this...this I could make happen.

Then that logical, couponer in me piped in. I walked out empty-handed.

But this month....Oy vey.... If there ever was a month in my life where I could use some retail therapy, it's this month. In fact, I don't even need the whole month, just the next 8 days. Official divorcement, Christmas and would-be anniversary all fall within 8 days of one another.

Well yesterday I get another email from Anthropologie. Big sale aaaand take 50% off the bottom price.

I would not be surprised if my right bicep is sore tomorrow from the lug of clothes I carried to the dressing room this afternoon.

So in the end, I still had my shopping spree at a low(er) cost.

Win, win.

If You Spend More Than 5 Min. Making Fudge, I Feel Bad For You

Not too long ago, a friend gave me some fudge. She then told me how fudge is something she only makes 1-2 times a year as it's so time-consuming.

I'm here to tell you that no, it's not.

Make this.

Five minutes, that's all.

Actually, more like 10 minutes because it's so delicious that you will need to double that bad boy.

Happy Holidays.

You're welcome.

Blogs Bless

I found the most beautiful blog last Friday.

I was sitting in my cube, still feeling that complete hopelessness. I don't feel it all the time. But like I said earlier, when I do, it's all consuming.

I can't quite remember how I found it but I stumbled upon this blog and nearly cried.

All my feelings, all my thoughts, this woman had felt once before.

And she is better for it.

Plus, she is living in New York City. My city. Well, soon to be my city (will spill more soon).

I felt like I was looking at me, a few years down the road (please let it be sooner than that), and I became so uplifted, so hopeful.

Red Vines Saved My Life

Guess what?

My car became stuck in a ditch last night.

Fortunately for me, I had a pack of Red Vines in the car that kept me alive while I waited for help to come. I should also mention that I was on the same block as my house...And that it wasn't so much a ditch as it was a puddle of slush my tire wedged its way into....So it wasn't exactly a dire situation...But it made for some good laughs.

Have a fabulous weekend. If you are like me and STILL finishing your Christmas shopping, check out this gift guide for some help. Best of luck!

A Hard Time

image

I recently was reviewing a transcription of an interview I conducted about a year ago. In it, the subject expressed a greater need for authenticity on the blogosphere.

"Authenticity is what inspires," she said. "Genuineness ignites passion."

I believe there is great power in showing people that we are each human. I am human. I am vulnerable. And on some days, I have a really hard time.

While those waves of grief crash less often than they used to, they do still come around, often when I least expect it. And when they hit, no matter how many times they have come before, it's hard to remember that I will recover. That I will smile again. I will laugh. I will feel happiness.

Today I fought the tears all day long. I felt like one question, one word, one comment from anyone (whether it was related to my situation or not) would make me shatter into a million pieces.

Remember this line from "Sleepless in Seattle"? That Tom Hanks said my thoughts today perfectly.

I'm going to get out of bed every morning and breathe in and out all day long. Then, after a while, I won't have to remind myself to get out of bed in the morning and breathe in and out.

And that is that. I have no "happier ever after" ending to this post because this day didn't fit into that little package.

Today was a "And she kept living...".

Some days, I think that is the most we can ask of ourselves.

Anthropologie Consensus

Anthropologie emailed to let me know that I could take an extra 30% off sale prices.

Oh...You got that too?

Well, I went ahead a picked a few things up, one of which was this Shaggy Wanderings Cardi.

At first, I thought it was the ugliest sweater ever made. Then I saw it in their catalog and once it was styled, it looked pretty good! I will actually be able to tell you for sure in 5-7 days but in the mean time, what's your prediction??

Give Me A Few Years

"I was living in London and I had been dating this guy for 7 years. I wanted children, and he wanted cats. So I broke up with him and moved to New York when I was 30. And everything I have in my life now- my daughters, my site, my career- I have because a guy wouldn't marry me. The biggest heartbreaks in life that seen insurmountable, when you look back, you see that it was all for a reason."

-Arianna Huffitngon, accepting her Glamour Woman of the year award.

I know I'll say this one day.

Because Shopping For Men Is Hard To Do

I am (hopefully) wrapping up my Christmas shopping this weekend! No pun intended ;) Shopping for my Dad and brothers is nearly impossible. Do you face the same debacle every year when it comes to shopping for men? I sketched out a few tips here.

It's been nice for me to share a few ways I treat myself through heartbreak. I do it because I know I am not the first nor the last woman to feel that grief. Obviously lipstick, conditioners and Anthropologie don't heal oneself, but incorporating little things like these into my day does help lift my spirits. I hope you enjoyed.

Have a great weekend! Check back in next week!

Because My Name Is Enough

Back when when we were "we", I had a mug in our office that held pens, pencils, scissors, etc. This mug had the initial "D" for our last name. I loved it.

When I became "me", I left the mug behind. While it's still my last name (for now), it didn't feel right to take it. I thought of getting an "E" for my original last name, but I wasn't sure when I would be that again either.

Then guess what happened?

I realized that I, Amy, will always be Amy. And that was good enough.

So now this beauty is holding my makeup brushes. And every time I look at it, I remember that even when I'm just "me", I'm worth it.

Jillian Harris Is STILL My BFF

Photo from here.

Remember how Bachelorette Jillian Harris is my interior designer and that we are BFFs??

Well sista' friend came through for me again.

Typically Friday nights are a doozy. I'm exhausted from a week of work, usually emotionally strained and date night serves as a blatant reminder that I...well...I have no date.

Rather than sulk and sink into those depressive episodes that are only a memory away, I slather on Jilly's Hair Mask and cozy up to a favorite show or movie while it sets (this week's movie will be "The Help"). I typically have all the ingredients on hand and it's an easy way to keep my locks shiny.

Do you indulge in any D-I-Y beauty treatments? Share please!

Why The MAC Store Scares Me

'Twas a Saturday night and all through the house, not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse...

In other words, it was a Saturday night and I was free. I had been wanted to try the red lipstick trend going on this season but I was missing the guts a bold red color calls for.

But was this something I wanted? Yes.

So I loved myself enough to get myself what I wanted. After a little research for a universal color, I mustered up some courage and headed out to my local MAC store to purchase.

Yes, it took courage.

You see, the MAC store to me is like Abercrombie & Fitch to a 6th grader. Too cool. But I new what I wanted: Matte lipstick in Ruby Woo. All I needed to do was walk in, pick it up and pay.

Oh, if only it could have been that simple.

I walk in and quickly find the color but there were only tester tubes out. I asked an employee to please find me the color in a new tube. The next thing I know, lipstick is in my hand and I'm being told to try it on. Bright red. Put it on. People are watching.

I quickly smear it on.

First mistake: You can't be quick with red lipstick.

I looked like a mess so I began rubbing the color off with a tissue.

Next mistake: You shouldn't rub.

Now, as a result of smearing lipstick and rubbing my skin, my mouth (not just the lips) is entirely red. Just then, an employee asks me how I'm doing and the entire store looks over to see. Not well MAC lady! Not well at all! She hands over a make-up remover cloth and I started rubbing that all over which brings us to mistake #3.

The make-up remover cloth has alcohol in it.

So at this point, my red face is now even more red and oh yes, it's burning! I walk to up to the register, pay for my lipstick (with my head down the entire time) and race out of there.

But I did get the lipstick. And after a little more practice with the application, Miss Ruby Woo and I are getting along great.

Adele Knows Her Stuff

(a little pick-me-up every time I look at the keyboard)

"No one treats me as well as I do."-Adele on being single

Don't you love that?

I am no expert on dealing with grief. I have religion and a therapist to help me conquer that beast. And I am fully aware that a manicure will not solve deep heartbreak.

But it certainly doesn't hurt.

In those first terrifying weeks, it took all of my energy simply to shower and get to my job. Fortunately (and I say that with complete understanding of how fortunate I am for this), I had family to put a plate of food in front of me when it was time to eat and a Tylenol PM on my nightstand when it was time to sleep.

After some time, I was able to take care of myself again and I began incorporating little treats to me, from me, throughout the day. Because there is nothing wrong with loving yourself.

So this week, I'm going to share some of my favorite tiny, inexpensive ways to show yourself a little L-O-V-E.

What do you do for yourself? How do you love you?

Filling The Sleigh

Photo from Martha Stewart

Are you spending this weekend holiday shopping? I'm "Santa" in my family and it's time for me to fill the sleigh. If you are looking for some stocking stuffers, check out my "Stocking Gift Guide" for the season here.

Check back up on me next week for a conversation about loving yourself, a mortifying story about lipstick shopping and more!

In The Worst Of Times

(a visual of my holiday)

"Friends are like angels who lift our feet when our wings have trouble remembering how to fly."

I just returned from a week in Mexico with my Mom, great Aunt and Uncle. Drinking chocolate shakes, eating chips and salsa, reading books poolside...It was heaven.

On Wednesday afternoon, I found myself floating aimlessly in the pool, looking up at the cloudless blue sky. My mind drifted to the tender blessings that have flooded my life in the past four months.

Don't get me wrong. Div...ahem...the D word is hell. Nothing can sugarcoat that. And while I can't argue that this has been the hardest period of my life, I think that it also has been the sweetest.

I had friends come out of the woodwork from around the country. I spent a weekend in LA with my college roommate while another flew to Denver from Mississippi a mere 72 hours after finding out about the D. She almost single-handedly packed up my apartment. A friend saw me tear up at Church one Sunday and within seconds had her arms wrapped around me in the tightest hug. She stayed just like that until my tears dried. I have come home from work to bouquets of flowers on more than one occasion, opened care packages and received chats, emails and texts just when I needed them.

This Thanksgiving, amidst the pain of my current situation, I feel such immense gratitude for the angels that surround me.

I have never felt so loved.

Back Up

It's nice to see you (again).

Going back to the old site sends me into a spiral of grief. That mister is no longer my mister. Neither is Ono. And as much as I have missed writing, every time I click on that site, my heart sinks and I take a punch to the gut.

So now I'm here. A little scarred. Pretty bruised. But I'm here. And I'm glad you are too.